Written By Sydney Cinalli
Over time, the simplicity of dating has become the nuisance of maintaining. Somewhere along the dating road, people stopped caring, stopped discovering, and stopped feeling. These days, we run from the good, hold on to the worst, and in the end, we expect happiness. The truth of the matter is that our choices have defined our relationships. However, there are some commonalities among the broad scope of our relationships:
While the behaviors associated with dating have evolved rapidly over the last few years, the general issue of trust remains at the forefront of many issues. One’s childhood tribulations and life experiences impact his or her’s confidence in relationships.
Some argue that trust is easily acquired; however, some assert that trust functions according to one’s outlook on life. People find that over time, it becomes difficult to invest equal trust in each and every relationship. It proves to be exhausting!
By the time one breaks down the barrier of resistance, he or she loses touch with what trust truly entails. An alternative approach is to trust generously but to dismiss those who primarily appear untrustworthy.
Rather than displaying anguish for someone who remains unappeased, you should merely move forward and express some form of optimism for your next relationship. By refusing to expose oneself to such stress, he or she develops a stronger resistance to future hardships in relationships associated with cheating, disloyalty, or other complications.
Be consistent and do what you say you will do. Most importantly, avoid making comments that you cannot take back. Words penetrate the soul more than any other form of aggression.
One’s perceived limitations often ward away happiness. When someone is confronted with a hardship, he or she often appears aggravated with the people in close proximity (often his or her significant other).
We frequently fixate our emotions on the people who express concern for us. However, happiness is dictated solely by one’s attitude towards life.
Teenagers struggle to maintain their strong sense of independence within their relationships. Thus, relationships have become more temporary as time has progressed. The freedom to seek other sources of affection has complicated even the most stable relationships among our youth.
Within modern society, our loss of moral center has led to a steep decline in one’s value for relationships. Taking life for granted, dismissing unruly behavior, and stressing immoral acts are all among the various modifications that threaten the stability of our society.
In order to combat these issues, we must choose our friends sparingly and solely acknowledge those who express unconditional concern for our overall well-being. This approach serves to diminish any negative forces that stem from pessimistic, judgmental people within our lives.
However, surrounding yourself with individuals that express unnatural concern for your life may cause more harm than good. It’s a matter of balance. Spend time with the people who appear the most genuine to you. Mountains of compliments may appear enticing at the surface, yet a surplus of praise only goes so far.
Time spent in resentment points to inaccessible expectations. Unrealistic expectations lead to preconceived resentment.
It is a matter of accessing pre-existing happiness that determines an individual’s emotional stability. Thus, happiness must be anticipated in order to reach a state of unrestricted honesty in relationships.
The art of communication has transformed over the last few years. Social networking sites and other recent forms of media encourage our society to rely on impersonal sources of communication to satisfy their temporary desires.
Even more so, social networking has led to a decrease in moral purpose among teenagers, who often seek comfort in displaying their most intimate and vulnerable moments to the entire world. This vulnerability acts as a cry of sympathy, allowing any person to express their opinions towards one’s hardships, regardless of whether those insights are good or bad.
The proper way to communicate in the modern world is to make it as personal as possible. Rather than texting, pick up the phone. When a phone call seems impersonal, engage in a face-to-face conversation. These moments of dialogue should be valued, not merely disregarded.
Furthermore, when people intentionally involve themselves in the relationships of others, they create unnecessary tension within the boundaries of the relationship. Choose you partners and your battles wisely.
When we experience issues with communicating, it’s best to discuss any inconsistencies head-on. Being straightforward with your feelings ultimately grants you better success in your emotional life. Holding in unnecessary stress takes a substantial toll on your emotional stability.
Effective communication is a necessity. Without communication, we’d be detached from the world around us. We’d wake up every morning, absorb the day’s beauty, and then fall back asleep. Embracing one’s ability to communicate is a human right, but it is not a power that should be abused. Developing mutual respect in your relationship will help prevent communication conflicts.
However, it’s important to note that every relationship experiences up’s and down’s. Those up’s and down’s may or may not dictate the success of the relationship, but certain issues are inevitable and therefore, necessary to address. It’s how you address the issues, not necessarily what the issues are.
Priorities appear in many forms. Ranging from family obligations to work schedules, the art of prioritizing your life proves to be the most difficult aspect of maintaining relationships.
While spending time with your friends on a Friday night may seem enticing, canceling plans with your significant other will place significant stress on the relationship. Emotional boundaries fluctuate from relationship to relationship; however, the most daunting exploit is to take your partner for granted.
When threatened, people often refuse to feel accountable for their actions. Although this may temporarily satisfy the individual, arrogance serves as a fixation point for other issues to surface in relationships.
Making your relationship a focal point will not only strengthen the relationship itself, but it will continuously replenish your feelings of security and stability.
Occasional gestures of appreciation prove to go a long way for relationships. Those gestures can vary from extravagant gifts to simple signs of affection. Although some forms of appreciation often go undetected, it’s crucial to remain optimistic towards the relationship’s long-term success.
It’s also imperative to note that communication plays a significant role in defining your priorities as well. Without effective communication, it becomes difficult to cater to your priorities.
Develop respect for yourself and for your partner by clearly defining your intentions.
Q: What are some traits that you look for in another person?
A: “Humor and intelligence…” –Issy Carreiro, 11
“Good looks, fun personality, and intelligence…” –Ryan Ferland, 11
“Good sense of humor, trustworthy, and sweet…” –Anonymous, 10
“Humor, looks, and down-to-earth personality…” –Joy Wilkinson, 12
Q: What are some major issues that you have had in relationships?
A: “Cheating, dishonesty, lack of communication, and distance…” –Issy Carreiro, 11
“Cheating…nothing in common…” –Anonymous, 10
“Trust and communication…” –Joy Wilkinson, 12